I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
