You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
