Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
