No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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