we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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