So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
