Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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