I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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