weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
