garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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