We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
