consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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