she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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