you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Houston, we have a squirter
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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