Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Boobs speak an international language.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
