she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
