Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
