she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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