idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
