So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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