never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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