you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
