that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
