theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
