Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
