Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
