He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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