I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
