Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
