we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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