he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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