Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
