RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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