I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
