hotel room ftw
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
