I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
