omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
