Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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