I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
