Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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