He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize