I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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