you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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