so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
