you will always have a special place in my vag
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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