No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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