i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
