It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
