Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize