I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
