so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
