hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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I was not drunk enough for that final.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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