I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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