its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
