Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
