Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
