hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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