i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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