i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
