you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Never joke about your clitoris.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
